Soultrade Read online

Page 3


  Disgruntled, I pouted in her arms. She was right though. We discussed it many times, but being spotted with Ayra would bring more questions than we could answer. Especially since we weren’t really sure what was going on. Or how long it would last. Or why Ayra and I looked like twins.

  “But with this stupid egg, it’s becoming impossible to swap. It’s really hurting me,” I admitted, touching my stomach again. The nightmares I was having were vaguely reminiscent of Alien and I didn’t feel like making that a reality.

  “Are you hurting right now?”

  A spasm shot through me, but it wasn’t anything remotely close to the searing pain I had to endure in my other form. “No, but I’m not looking forward to being swapped back.”

  “Ayra said she was no longer in control of her swaps. Are you?”

  I scrunched my nose. “No, I’ve never been any good at it.”

  The warmth of her body engulfed me and I hid myself in her embrace.

  “We need a solution though. We can’t keep going on like this. And the accidental swaps are really inconvenient.”

  “Tell me about it,” I muttered, recalling finding Devon mid-thrust inside me. A shudder ran down my spine and I cringed at the memory. I really didn’t want that to happen again.

  “Hey, it wasn’t necessarily fun for me either,” Sian protested, pulling a face. “Knowing that Devon got with my girlfriend isn’t exactly a fantasy of mine.”

  “It was only one thrust.”

  Sian fake-gagged. “One thrust too many.”

  I laughed and pulled her closer to me. “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

  She bore her fangs at me and growled lowly. “I’m not cute, I’m a scary vampire.”

  “As if!”

  Something I couldn’t identify flashed through her eyes and before I knew it, I was pasted against the wall. Breathily, she scraped her teeth over my skin. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to be scary or sexy, but I sure wasn’t frightened. Turned on? Oh yes.

  It was good to feel something else than pain and the fear of being ripped apart by my own spawn. Well, Ayra’s spawn.

  Huh. Actually… When this kid was born, what would it be to me? My niece? My sort-of daughter? How would I explain to an infant that I was her mother five seconds ago, but then tadaaa, aunty Tate! Why was I thinking about children when I had Sian pressed against me, all hot and bothered?

  “You seem distracted,” she moaned in my ear. Tingled shot down my spine and I arched into her.

  “I was, but I’m not anymore,” I breathed back, sliding my hands under her shirt. I did enough worrying in my dragon form, now that I was with Sian, I deserved some fun. A lot of fun. And unlike Ayra and Devon, this wouldn’t get me pregnant. Silly dragons. Silly, stupid, horny dragons.

  “Are you okay? If you’re not in the mood, you can say so.”

  I gazed in Sian’s concerned eyes and smiled. “I’m sorry, I’ve been in my own head for too long.”

  She chuckled and kissed the tip of my nose. “You do that a lot.”

  “I know, I know. Habit from when I was a kid.”

  Sian traced my cheek, twirling a loose strand of hair around her finger. “We can just sit and talk, you know?”

  I shook my head and pulled her into me. “No, I don’t want to talk. I’m sick of talking.”

  “You sure?”

  As passionately as I could, I crashed my mouth on hers. Immediately, she parted her lips and sought out my tongue with hers. I moaned into the kiss and pulled her harder into me. “Still think I want to talk?”

  She let out a husky laugh and shook her head, little beads of joy dancing in her eyes. “Nope.”

  With a tug and a tumble, she chased me out of the kitchen and into the bedroom. Rather pleased that Ayra’s scent seemed to have disappeared, I fell onto the bed. Any excuse to get out of Ayra’s tight dress was good. This excuse was even better. With the dress curled up at the ground, I beckoned Sian to join me.

  She bit her lip and shook her head. “Just watch me,” she whispered, slowly pulling her shirt over her head.

  My mouth went dry as I admired my woman. She was so beautiful, it made my heart ache. How I ever even considered Devon as my meant to be, was beyond me. With Sian next to me, making my heart skip beats and my stomach flutter, there was no denying our bond. She was the one for me. And damn it, I would make it so.

  I wasn’t sure how, but I’d figure it out. If this was how Ayra felt about Devon, I couldn’t imagine she’d protest too much about getting a whole life with him.

  Maybe she was already thinking about it. From what I heard from Devon and Sian, we were weirdly in sync, even though we had never met or really knew each other.

  The soft tinkle of metal brought me out of my thoughts and I caught the first glance of skin as Sian tugged her belt loose.

  “My eyes are up here, Tate,” she grinned, teasingly. Seductively.

  I managed to hold her gaze for two seconds and then faltered back to her middle. I held a low groan back and bit my lip. Sian was so beautiful, it made me ache. If only I could stay with her forever. Or at least, longer than a couple of hours or a couple of days. One wrong move and Ayra and I could swap back at a moment’s notice.

  “Wait.” I pushed myself up from the bed and tore my eyes away. Hurt flashed across Sian’s face, and regret quickly bubbled up in my gut. “You’re gorgeous, Sian. I want you so badly. But last time, Ayra forced a swap back by... You know. I don’t want to take that risk. I just want to be near you, for as long as I can.”

  Sian sighed, not unhappily. “You’re right. Let’s not risk it.”

  “Can we just snuggle?”

  The bed dipped as she fell down next to me. The soft blue linen hugged my body as I curled up into my blondie.

  “Are you comfortable?”

  For the first time in days, sleep actually knocked on my door. The pain had kept it away, but now it was back to take me away from this world.

  “Hmmhmmm,” I nodded, safely wrapped in Sian’s arms. It would be good to have some painless sleep. Yes, I really needed some sleep. And hope that Ayra would let me keep her body for a little while.

  Although, was it still her body?

  I trailed my fingers over my arm and hummed. I felt more comfortable and at ease in this body than my dragon form. I’d began to think about this body as my body. But was that really fair? What was the etiquette on body swapping? If only someone could tell me, but our situation was rather... Unique. And Google had been no help.

  “Tate?”

  “Hmmm... Yes?”

  “Nothing, just wanted to check if you were already asleep.”

  “Almost,” I muttered, melting as she kissed my forehead. As different as Devon and Sian were, they had one thing in common. They always made me feel safe and cared for. Even if it was in different ways now.

  “Go sleep,” she smiled, running her hands through my hair. Finally relaxed, I curled up into her. The circles she drew on my back soothed me into a slumber. Yes, I could get used to this. In this body that I considered mine. If only—

  A sharp sting shot through my stomach and I winced. A pain I hadn’t experienced in this body overcame me and I let out a muffled cry. Oh no, I knew what this was. Egg cramps. Electricity rolled through me with such force, it wiped any rational thoughts away. A familiar tearing ripped through me and hot tears fell from my eyes.

  No, not again. Not so soon!

  Chapter 4

  Sian sighed. Damn it. Sian. I pushed her away, definitely not comfortable with her in bed naked. At least Devon and I had been fully dressed again when I’d left. We’d learned from that mistake.

  “You’re back then.”

  I was sure Sian didn’t mean to sound quite so disappointed, but I also didn’t blame her. Our predicament sucked. She wanted to be with Tate. I wanted to be with Devon and our baby, it really should be as simple as that. And yet…

  “Sorry,” I muttered, swinging my legs around and planting my feet
firmly on the floor. I grabbed my dress from the floor, thankful that Tate hadn’t thought to put it away properly.

  Ha. Never thought I’d be glad for someone being messy.

  “Not your fault,” Sian assured me, but she really wasn’t good. I could hear it in her voice. And no doubt, she knew it. There was also little doubt she knew I was feeling the same.

  “We need to sort this out,” I announced, pulling up the zipper on the back of my dress.

  “You’re only just coming to that conclusion?” Sian’s voice was as dry as they came, and I threw a glare over my shoulder at her. Grateful to find she’s also gotten out of bed and put some clothes on.

  “Surprisingly not,” I bit back. “You think I’m not thinking about how much pain Tate’s in right now? Or the stress all this swapping is probably putting on the…” I trailed off, my voice cracking and the tears making themselves known. Maybe the pregnancy hormones had travelled with me to this body. I wouldn’t care if my egg had come too.

  A heaving sob escaped from my lips, and I bit down on my fist, forgetting how sharp my incisors were in the process, and ripping the skin of my hand open.

  It didn’t stop the crying.

  “Ayra?” Sian asked tentatively.

  I shook my head. For no apparent reason. I just wanted to shake. I sobbed loudly, and curled up into myself slightly. A pretty amazing feat given I was stood up.

  “Ayra?” Sian repeated, sounding a lot more concerned this time.

  Her soft arms circled around me, and she pulled me close. I rested my head on her breasts. She was comfortable, and familiar, and Sian. But she wasn’t who I really wanted, and each thought of that sent more sobs cascading through me.

  “Shh,” Sian soothed. Badly. That had never worked on me before, it wasn’t likely to now. “We’ll figure it out, Ayra. We’ll get you back to Devon.”

  “How?” I let out between strangled sobs. Wow. I was a certified mess. More so than I’d ever been before.

  “I don’t know. Why don’t we call Dev, and see what he says?”

  I shook my head, the tears falling faster.

  Sian surprised me by pulling me back towards the bed and allowing me to curl up in a ball.

  I wasn’t sure how long she held me for, but I did know that it was needed. And I cried myself out in her arms, wishing they were Devon’s the entire time.

  I must have fallen asleep, as dawn light was streaming through the crack in the curtains.

  “Hey,” Sian said as she pushed the door open, and held a mug out to me. I shifted so I was propped against the headboard, taking the drink from her.

  “Thanks,” I croaked.

  Sian perched on the end of the bed. The end of her bed. I shouldn’t be here. This was Tate’s space now, not mine. Though it had been.

  Life confused me.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Drained,” I answered honestly, my hand straying to my stomach and resting there. It felt wrong. There was no rounded bump, and every part of me knew it was wrong.

  “I’m not surprised.” She watched me intently as I drank, seeming pleased that I was taking a moment to. “I called Devon.”

  “What?” I spluttered, setting the mug down on the bedside table.

  “They’re going to come over later,” Sian continued.

  “They can’t do that, what if someone sees?” Our concerns over that were still completely valid. What if someone saw our dragon body with Devon and thought I was cheating on Sian?

  What if Marcus came around? Oh no. That could be a disaster.

  “It’s a risk we’re going to have to take, Ayra. You’re not happy, Tate’s in pain. Maybe having you in the same room will actually spark something in the pair of you. We need to get this sorted.”

  “I know,” I looked away.

  “And you probably need to hand your notice in at work,” she prompted too.

  “I know,” I replied. I’d been putting it off. But we all knew it was true. If Tate and I managed to make our switch permanent, then I’d be moving about two hours away. The commute would be a little too much.

  Not to mention maternity leave. It was probably a little too difficult to claim it when my company had seen no evidence of my pregnancy at all.

  “I’ll write it today,” I assured her.

  “Good. The sooner you do, the better. I know you love that job…”

  “But it’s never going to work,” I ended for her. “I know. And I can’t ask Devon to move this far away from his family and friends.”

  “But you can move that far away from yours?” Sian cocked her head to the side, and studied me, as if trying to get a measure of my true response.

  “I only have Marcus. And you. There’s not really much keeping me here.” And so much more calling me there. I didn’t know the first thing about raising a baby dragon, and I suspect Devon didn’t either. But his parents did. And his older sister. She had a few of her own.

  “Are you going to tell Marcus?”

  “I don’t know,” I answered honestly. Marcus was a complication. I loved him like the sibling I never had. The idea of not telling him about Devon, and all that was going on, didn’t sit right with me. But also, where would I start with it?

  “You should.”

  “I know. It’s just…”

  “How to explain you’re really a straight pregnant dragon stuck in a gay vampire’s body?”

  “I’m not straight,” I protest. At least, I didn’t think I was.

  “Does it matter?”

  “Not to me. I loved you…”

  “You just love Devon more.”

  “Just like you love Tate more.”

  “How did we get here?” Sian asked, sighing. And more notably, not denying what I’d said was true. She really did love Tate more than she’d ever loved me. Which was fine as far as I was concerned. It made me feel much less guilty about my feelings towards Devon.

  “The universe is weird and wanted to screw with us?”

  She gave me a weak smile, which I returned instantly.

  “Sounds about right.” She paused again, and a look I knew well crossed her face.

  “What is it, Sian?”

  “Devon said something about a pilgrimage?”

  Of course he did. I hadn’t been completely serious when I’d suggested it. I didn’t think I had anyway. But then again, we needed to do something.

  “There’s a place dragons go to, in the mountains when they’re ill,” I started, recalling everything Devon had told me about the place. It’d been during one of the swaps right before I’d fallen pregnant. Just one of the many nights spent murmuring to each other in the darkness of the night, our bodies pressed against each other and…

  I should stop. The longing for Devon was bad enough as it was. I didn’t need to go and make things worse.

  “You think you’re ill?” Sian asked. I could tell from the expression on her face that her teacher’s brain had been engaged, and she was thinking of all the possible implications for that.

  “No, yes, I don’t know. There’s something about us that isn’t right. And no, not in an against nature kind of way, obviously we’re not. But the swapping can’t be doing any of us any good.” My mind instantly strayed to my egg. Damn, I was a woman obsessed.

  “Hmmm.”

  “It’s worth a try, Sian. If it works, you can have Tate with you all the time. If it doesn’t, then at least we tried?” I was clutching at straws and we both knew it. That, and the fact I was verging on desperate.

  “The summer holidays are about to start…”

  I perked up. Sian was pretty much convinced. Appealing in Tate’s name had been the right thing to do. “And if I hand my notice in, there’s only Devon’s job to worry about. But his boss is a dragon too. If he tells her what he wants time off, then she’ll give it to him no questions asked.”

  “You mean if he tells her his wife is stuck in a vampire body?” Sian raised her eyebrow, and I giggled.

 
“When you put it like that, no. But I meant if he told her his wife was having pregnancy issues…”

  Wife. I was Devon’s wife. It was still going to take a while for that to settle in. I loved him, there was no doubt in my mind about that. But thinking of myself as anyone’s wife felt a little odd.

  “Are dragons really that close?”

  “Yep. It’s a little disturbing at times. I’m scared to leave Devon’s side when there are other dragons about in case I mess up.” I grimaced. That concern was real, and there was a very good chance I’d never be able to live as myself in the dragon community. It sucked, but Devon was worth it.

  “Will you ever tell them?”

  “Devon’s family? Yes, I think so. The rest? Probably not. There’s a lot of…elitism.” My polite way of saying racism really. Dragons kept to themselves, but that was pretty well known. What wasn’t, was that the different types of dragons seemed to look down on one another. Particularly the older generations. The dragons around Devon’s age were a lot better, and he said more than one of them had spoken out against the segregation. Devon also told me about more than one who’d been banished from the community. The Elders wouldn’t be happy if they found out about my ex-vampire status.

  “That’s sad.”

  “Very. But they’re a lot closer than we are. You are? We were? How am I supposed to say that now?” I flung my hands up, grateful I wasn’t hold the mug anymore.

  Sian chuckled. “Say it however you want, but right now, you’re a vampire.”

  I scowled. She was right, I was a vampire. A thirsty vampire at that. My mouth felt dry and fuzzy, like it often had when it’d been too long since I’d had a drink.

  “Did Tate feed while she was here?” I asked suddenly. I’d been away long enough for her to. And she claimed to like blood, so it would make sense for her to.

  “Yes, two pouches.”

  “Two?” I half-shouted, sitting bolt upright rather than leaning like I had been.

  “Yes, two, what’s the big deal?” Sian frowned at me.

  “Nothing for you, you drink blood regularly. But this body hasn’t…”