Soulshift Read online

  Except that the dream man’s mouth lowered to my neck, peppering kisses along the soft skin there. I moaned softly, enjoying the feel of it. He gripped my long dark hair, and tugged. It didn’t hurt, but it was enough for me to tip my head back and draw out a soft whimper.

  “Tate,” he groaned against my skin. Wait, what?! Tate?! Who the fuck was Tate, and why was my dream man saying her name? I pulled back slightly, and finally opened my eyes. A dark blue gaze looked deep into me, filled with the same intense desire I’d only ever seen from one other person. But her eyes weren’t blue. Not even close. And she also didn’t have five o’clock shadow lining her jaw. In fact, my dream man was so different from the girlfriend I was really in bed with, it surprised me. Was this really what my subconscious wanted?

  To my surprise, a hazy feeling akin to falling into a deep sleep came over me. My eyes began to droop, and my mind unfocused. Damn it. How was this happening? In the middle of a sexy dream too? Life was so unfair.

  Sleep took back ahold of me, and the world before my eyes switched to black. Looked like I’d be sorting myself out once Sian had left then.

  Chapter 3

  “A picnic?” Sian’s face lit up as she repeated what I’d said.

  “Yes, a picnic,” I replied, the smile tugging at the corner of my mouth making it hard to say the words without sounding at least a little amused. I was feeling horrible about how often my thoughts had strayed back to dream-man over the past few days, even if I knew he was nothing more than a figment of my imagination. And as a result, I was determined to make it up to her. Even if Sian had no idea that was what I was doing. Damn it all. I was going batshit crazy. All I needed now was to actually turn into a bat, and the transformation would be complete. Good job vampires couldn’t do that, or I’d be really worried.

  “Where are we going?” She was almost bouncing up and down, not that I was complaining. With every little bounce the hem fluttered a little higher, revealing her strong toned legs to me. Legs I wanted wrapped around me as I…

  stop it, Ayra.

  Thoughts like that weren’t conducive to the cute date I had planned.

  “You know that castle you wanted to go to?”

  “You’re not?!” Her dark eyes widened, and happiness radiated from her. Points for Ayra there. I looked at her again, conflicted feelings warring within me. I looked at her and saw the love of my life, the woman I wanted with a passion I couldn’t explain, and someone I wanted nothing but happiness for. And yet…the wrongness had intensified. Not a lot, but more than before. Even now, with very un-PG thoughts running through my head, the off feeling was there.

  I shook my head, ridding myself of the thoughts plaguing me. Today was about Sian. Even my own mind wasn’t going to ruin that.

  “It’s beautiful, Ayra, look!”

  My heart swelled to about three times the size as I watched how excited she was by the nature around her. I liked it too, it was pretty, but I much preferred being by the sea. Or a lake. Or just anywhere with water really. Wow. I really was a terrible vampire. I must just have been born with some kind of disconnect within me.

  Sian, on the other hand, was radiant. With her flushed cheeks and shining blonde hair, there was no doubt she’d fed recently. Unlike me. I hadn’t since I’d given in the other day. Though I’d need to soon, otherwise Sian would just start to worry again, and that was the last thing I wanted.

  Sometimes, it scared me how much of my world revolved around this one woman. Especially given the off feeling. Other times it was right. This was one of those times. She was so full of light and joy. She was so pure. I planned on changing that perception later when I made her…

  Mind out of the gutter, Ayra. Cute date, remember?

  I really was rubbish at this. I’d been much better in the beginning. I must have been, or Sian would never have stayed with me.

  “Look!” she called out again. I plastered a smile on my face and made my way over to her. She was pointing at a pair of butterflies spinning around one another in an elegant dance. I had to admit, they were pretty, but they didn’t hold the same fascination for me as they did for Sian. I was more a fan of watching big powerful animals. Tigers, lions, panthers...anything like that really. I found it fascinating to watch them stalk their prey, or leap up into a tree. All powerful muscles and grace. But then, that summed up me and Sian really. She was all pretty and gentle, wanting things to be delicate. And me? Well, deep down I knew I wanted something more akin to the predators I liked to watch. I wanted to feel at the mercy of the power they exuded. And while Sian was a lot of things, powerful and commanding, she was not. At least, not with me. I knew she could be strict with her students. I’d jokingly bought her a cane once, in the vain hope she’d use it to play a game with me. To my disappointment, she hadn’t, and I didn’t even know where it was anymore.

  “They’re beautiful,” I told her, managing to infuse enough awe and affection into my voice that’d mean she’d likely believe me. Looking at her helped. She really was breathtaking. Why she settled for someone like me was something I wondered almost daily.

  “Did you know the patterns on their wings are unique?” she asked me.

  “Yes.” I nodded, a bemused smile stretching across my face. I knew that, because she’d told me. Five or six times, and that was before I stopped counting.

  “And that they’re made up of tiny scales?”

  “Yes, I know that too.” This time, a small laugh escaped from my lips, and going from instinct, I pulled her into my arms, kissing the side of her head, and inhaling the scent of a sea breeze that always seemed to exude from her. Being this close to her, extinguished every lingering doubt that I had, and the affection I truly felt for her washed through me.

  “I love you, Sian,” I whispered into her hair.

  “I love you too,” she said with a laugh. “What’s with you today?”

  “I don’t know,” I muttered, pulling away from her and taking a step back, adjusting the picnic bag over my shoulder. But that was more because I needed something to busy my hands with and distract my mind.

  “Ayra, are you feeling okay?” Her brows knit with worry as she looked at me. Confusing me completely. What was with her? I felt fine, didn’t I?

  Except, I wasn’t sure I did. A slight woozy feeling overcame me, and my sight began to lose focus. Well that was disconcerting to say the least.

  I swayed a little. No, I swayed a lot. Feeling very unsteady on my feet.

  Which was when the world went black.

  Chapter 4

  My eyes opened slowly, a dull ache settling in as they did. Damn, what was wrong with me? I never fainted. Maybe I’d really pushed it between feeds. Except, that couldn’t be right. I’d gone longer than a few days before, and actually, other than the ache in my eyes, I felt better than I had in a long while. Almost as good as I’d felt the other day in my dream.

  “Tate, Tate!”

  Oh. The voice almost sounded like my dream man. It was a little hazy, but I was pretty sure he called me Tate then too. My eyes cleared a little more, and I found myself staring up into a pair of dark blue eyes. A pair of actually kind of familiar dark blue eyes. Wait. Did people dream while they were unconscious? I’d have thought not, but if I was here in dreamland, then they must. Funny how no one had ever mentioned that before.

  “Tate.” He sounded really worried. I wondered who this Tate was. Maybe it was me? Renaming myself in a dream wouldn’t exactly be the weirdest thing I’d ever done.

  “Huh, not Tate,” I murmured, my words running together ever so slightly. Hmmm. That was no good. Apparently blacking out didn’t work well with my brain.

  “Of course you’re Tate,” he said, a worried look flitting across his face as he studied me.

  “No,” I insisted, propping myself up on my elbows and really taking him in. He was every bit as attractive as I remembered him. Dark hair, the stubble, the eyes. He was the opposite of Sian in almost every way, and yet he smelled of her. He sm
elled safe. He felt safe.

  “Yes, Honey. You must have banged your head when you fell.”

  “No.” I shook my head.

  “What’s your birthday?” he asked, his brows knitting together. Why was he so worried about me? It didn’t make any sense. I didn’t even know his name, and somehow I didn’t think asking would go down very well.

  “Seventh July,” I answered without hesitating. That was the normal response to someone asking your birthday, right? The man smiled in relief, holding out a hand and pulling me to my feet.

  His palm was warm in mine, comforting, and I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want to stop touching him at all. I wobbled slightly, and the man steadied me.

  “It really took it out of you, huh?”

  “I guess,” I mumbled, still not sure what to make of what was going on. Or who the man was. I wish people would go around wearing name tags, it’d make moments like this a lot less awkward. I smothered a snort. Silly me, thinking that moments like this were the norm. I didn’t know anyone else who’d blacked out and ended up in someone’s arms, not in the same place they were.

  I must be dreaming. There was no other explanation.

  “Where do you want to go next?”

  “Hmm?” I replied, taken off guard by his question. The man sighed again.

  “What do you want to go see? The zebras? Antilopes? We can go to the sea life bit if you really want, see the sharks?”

  “There’s sharks here?” I perked up. Next to big cats, they were my favourite. But it’d been even longer since I’d been able to see any. It wasn’t that Sian wouldn’t go with me, if I asked, I knew she would. No, it was more that the nearest place with sharks was about two hours away from home, and that was a little far to go just to watch some sharks in a tank. Basically, I didn’t go, because I didn’t want to ask Sian to make the trip with me.

  “Yes, you know that though. We’ve been coming here for years,” the man said, surprisingly patient I might add.

  But wait...years? If he thought we’d been coming here for years, that meant I’d known him for years. And, as in love I was with Sian, I highly doubted I’d forget meeting such a fine specimen of manhood. There was no denying he was that, not with all the female attention I could feel boring into him.

  “Oh, yes, sorry.” I cringed. I hated lying. I always had. But he seemed on edge enough without me making it worse.

  “So the sharks then?” he asked.

  “Or the tigers,” I answered with a shrug. He smiled a little at that, a curious look crossing his face.

  “How hard did you hit your head?” He laughed, but it came across a little hollow. Hmmm. Odd.

  “Not very.”

  “Tigers it is then.” He slipped an arm around my waist, and I leaned into him, thoughts of my beautiful blonde vampire slipped into my mind. I couldn’t even properly explain what brought her to the forefront. Maybe it was because I could smell her sea breeze scent so clearly.

  Maybe Sian was really next to me, panicking because I wasn’t responding, and here was me canoodling with a man and making my way to see big cats.

  Totally normal thing to do there, Ayra.

  The two of us walked in comfortable silence. Which surprised me. I wasn’t exactly not a people person. Well, other than the fact most humans were naturally scared of me because of the whole predator thing. Apparently, it didn’t matter to them that vampires were actually a peaceful people. If I had to guess, and if vampires were common knowledge, then I’d bet my incisors that humans wouldn’t be very accepting. And if they were? At least then I’d have an excuse not to drink blood.

  At the same time, I wasn’t this comfortable around people this quickly. When Sian and I had started dating, it had taken four weeks for me to let her kiss me. It’d taken even longer for me to let her get me into bed. But she’d been patient, and kind, and had unlocked a side of me I never knew existed. Yet, this man had his arm around my waist. He was so close that I could feel the heat of his body next to mine. And I was okay with it. More than okay, it felt right.

  No, Ayra. No.

  I loved Sian. Sian was my one, my only. I shouldn’t be thinking about this man that way.

  I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts, I didn’t notice a man called us to a stop.

  “Devon! Wait!”

  The man next to me turned in the direction of the voice. Well, that answered that question. Devon. I rolled the name around in my head, surprised to find how good it sounded. I could certainly get used to thinking it. I looked at him under my lashes. Yes. Devon suited him, and the strong chiselled jaw and his lips stretching into a wide grin.

  “Michael,” he greeted with an outstretched hand, which the other man took. “How are you?”

  “Great, thanks, yourself?” the other man, Michael, responded. He was tall and a little gangly, with freckles and curly ginger hair. It was almost comical, like a cartoon character who’d stepped into real life.

  “Never better,” Devon replied with a genuine smile. Yes, Devon really did suit him.

  “I just wanted to thank you again, the twins are such a precious gift to us.”

  “You’re welcome. It’s one of the best parts of the job, helping bring new life into the world.” Devon beamed proudly. “Have you brought them here today?”

  “No, it’s just me, my Mum and my eldest daughter today,” Michael said, glancing back towards an older woman who was chattering away to a little girl of maybe three ish? I didn’t know, I wasn’t very good with children’s ages.

  It didn’t even matter how old she was. She was adorable. Sometimes, okay, a lot of the time, I wondered what it’d be like to have a child. I’d even considered talking to Sian about it, but was too scared to. With having centuries ahead of us, having a baby while I was still in my twenties, seemed like a little bit of a stretch. Or that was what I imagined Sian saying every time I thought about us having the conversation.

  “Are they sleeping well?” Devon asked.

  “As can be expected. We still have a way to go, I think. Just one of the joys of parenthood. One you, and your fiancée, will discover in due time, I guess.” He nodded in my direction.

  Wait...fiancée?

  As subtly as I could, I glanced down at my left hand. Holy shit. I was engaged. When had that happened? And the rock, it was stunning. Simple, elegant, and looking expensive as hell. Why was I wearing it outside? Such a pretty gem should be hoarded just for me. No one else should look upon it without my permission.

  What was going on with me? I wasn’t even thinking like me anymore it seemed.

  My eyes started to droop, growing heavier with each passing second. My vision began to go hazy. Oh no, not again.

  Chapter 5

  I sat across from Marcus, trying not to think about dream man from the other day. No, not dream man, Devon. I seriously needed to get with it. But something about him had me tied up in knots. Ones that swiftly turned into guilt when I looked at Sian for too long. I hadn’t even done anything. Or at least nothing that could be considered bad. I’d been out of it, having banged my head or whatever, and not in control of myself. That was a perfectly reasonable explanation.

  I snorted. Reasonable. Like switching where I was in the physical world was a normal thing. I was sure I hadn’t been dreaming. I couldn’t have been. When I’d arrived back in Sian’s arms, she hadn’t seemed surprised. More amused. Which suggested I wasn’t the only one who’d switched. The most logical explanation was that I’d switched with the Tate who was actually engaged to Devon. I liked logic. Then again, nothing about this was logical, so maybe I was being naive.

  “Earth to Ayra,” Marcus said, waving a hand in front of my face.

  “Huh, sorry, Marcus.” I flashed him a killer smile. Or at least, what I thought was a killer smile. It always worked on Sian, so I hoped it’d work on my childhood friend too. “What were you saying?”

  “I was asking when the last time you’d fed was.” He gave me a stern look.

&
nbsp; “I eat all the time,” I responded, picking at the crumbs of my blueberry muffin as if to prove a point. Not the one he was trying to make. But it wasn’t my fault he hadn’t specified that he meant blood.

  “Don’t be pedantic, Ayra. When was the last time you drank blood?”

  “Shh.” I glanced around rapidly, hoping that none of the humans around us had heard him. We were in a coffee shop not far from where I worked. I often took a late lunch on a Wednesday so I could meet Marcus. He made me feel like I had a life outside of work and Sian. And so he should. We’d been born within a couple of years of each other, which was almost unheard of for vampires. Being long-lived didn’t exactly lead to a herd of children. We weren’t dragons, after all.

  More the pity really. I’d heard that dragons were very family orientated, even once their children had grown up and left home. Basically, they acted the exact way I wanted my own parents to. Like an actual family. I couldn’t even remember the last time my Mother called without wanting something.

  “How long?” He raised an eyebrow and his almost black eyes turned stern.

  “A while,” I muttered, trying to count back the days. It’d been, what? About a week, perhaps? I could go a lot longer than that if I had to. Maybe? I wasn’t actually so sure. Normally I didn’t let it get this far, otherwise Sian started to worry about me, and I couldn’t do that to her.

  It’d crossed my mind, on more than one occasion, that I really shouldn’t drink blood just so she didn’t worry. It was a pretty rubbish reason really. But I didn’t want to cause her any concerns. That’d just worry me in turn anyway.

  Marcus sighed dramatically. Completely in character too. He’d been one of the drama nerds at school, much to my amusement. It’d been funny to watch all the girls being simultaneously drawn to him, and scared off. A weird quirk to do with the predator within us. Obviously we could draw humans towards us. Otherwise it would’ve been difficult for us to feed at all, at least before blood donation banks. Though we weren’t really supposed to use those for feeding. I’d even heard of vampires maintaining long-term relationships with humans, though I personally didn’t see the point. If you were going to live for centuries, like we did, then starting a relationship that could only ever span decades, just seemed like a fast track to heartbreak.