The Love Pill Read online

  ‘Oh, hi. So nice of you to call. How are you?’

  This was going good, let’s make some small talk and then ask her out for a drink.

  ‘Splendid. Doyouwannagooutwithme?’ Shit, talk about getting straight to the point. Haha, at least the point was straight, she wasn’t. Stupid joke. And stupid question. I’m so glad that I articulated well, otherwise, I’d look like a blabbering idiot.

  Good thing I only lost my charm and not my sarcasm as well.

  ‘Wow, you are direct. Sure, why not.’ she said, sounding so composed and relaxed. The complete opposite of how I was feeling right now.

  ‘Great. Great. Tonight, say around 9ish in the Big Louis?’ I proposed, feeling myself calm down. She didn’t turn me down, yet. I should just go for it, do the overconfident thing guys tend to do.

  She laughed. ‘Wow, you are eager. Let’s make it tomorrow evening.’

  ‘Perfect, I’m already looking forward to it.’ I said, finally able to make a grammatically correct sentence.

  ‘Me too. See you tomorrow. Good night, Cara.’ she said, hanging up immediately.

  ‘Yeah, good night…’ I trailed off, talking into my phone with no one on the other end of the line. The way she said my name after she hung up made me wanna listen more to her voice. Maybe good thing she didn’t want to go out tonight. It would have been disastrous. Now I could go talk to Ruben about picking up girls.

  Tomorrow was gonna be an interesting day.

  5. Clumsy

  Lexi Zellichman

  I was really surprised she asked me out. And even more surprised when she really called. I was so sure she was straight. I mean, my gaydar isn’t bulletproof, but it was decent. I had seen gaydars way worse than mine, for example, a friend her gaydar was so bad that it wouldn’t surprise me if it pointed to a dude and signalled ‘lesbian’. Anyway, it seemed like I was wrong this time. But I was gladly wrong, damn, she was cute.

  Normally I wouldn’t care if the women I met and who asked me out were hot or not. Lately, I hadn’t been in the mood for dating, but something about her made me say yes. Maybe it was the way how she looked at me or how eager she sounded. I don’t know, but I was looking forward to it. I didn’t have any expectations. Maybe it would become a long-term thing, sweet. If not, then at least I would have had a nice evening with a gorgeous woman.

  Dress or pants. Dress or pants. Dress or…Oh, skirt!

  Blue or red. Blue. Red. Blue. No, red. Maybe I should go for black.

  Heels? They do make my legs longer and give my ass a nice swing. No, I need flats, we could end up dancing and I don’t want to fall over when I’m dancing with her. Yeah, definitely the heels.

  My whole day consisted of these dilemmas. Trying on my whole closet, making new combinations.

  I didn’t really wanna impress her, but she was stunning and I didn’t want people to walk by and think: ‘Wow, that girl could do so much better. Maybe I should go over there and hit on her.’

  Because if something like that would happen, chances were Cara would move on to someone more in her league. Hopefully, that wouldn’t happen.

  When I walked in the bar, I was glad it was rather empty. A couple of guys sitting in the corner, the standard old men at the bar and some giggling girls in a booth. No Cara. I looked at my watch. 8:43. Okay, so I was a little bit too early. Better sit down here and wait, instead of pacing around in my apartment.

  When she walked in my jaw dropped. Just like the jaws of the guys in the corner, but who could blame them. Yesterday she was beautiful, tonight she was dressed to kill. Her legs seemed endless and I would love to trail my hands up there, just to find out how long they were.

  She smiled. ‘Hey, I hope I didn’t keep you waiting.’

  ‘No, I was just early. Bad habit. Wow, you look stunning.’ I said, trying to sound flattering and not creepy. No one likes the creepy lady.

  ‘Thanks, so do you.’ she said, returning the compliment.

  I probably wouldn’t have believed her, except I saw how she looked at me. Her eyes going over my body, stopping at my breasts. Then quickly looking away, a bit guilty for checking me out so obviously.

  The evening went well. She was very funny. She had a sense of dry humour, mixed with a lot of sarcasm that had me rolling on the floor. Not literally, of course, but I could imagine it. The best thing though, she made me feel at ease. Not once did I tip over my glass or spit out my drink or say something really inappropriate.

  That was until he came over. From what I knew, he looked like a guy who knew his way around women. Charming, good looking and cocky. He flashed a smile at Cara and she looked like she enjoyed the attention. Shit. What if she also liked men? I didn’t ask if she was a lesbian or bisexual. Stupid, stupid. I should have checked that.

  ‘Hey pretty lady, what’s up? You should come over to our table and sit with me. Your friend can come too if she wants.’ he said, giving her a flirty wink. She cleared her throat, grabbed my hand and shook her head.

  ‘Thank you, but my date and I are just fine here.’ she said, much to my relief. She wasn’t leaving with someone else. Not yet anyway. The guy looked at us and gave us the you-two-are-both-gonna-end-in-my-bed grin.

  ‘Your date? Sweet. Well, why don’t I buy you both a drink and we can go to my place later.’ he said, confirming my theory.

  ‘No thanks, we are good. I would love your dick, but her strap-on is always gonna be bigger, so bye bye.’ she said, making me snort. The guy turned beet red and quickly made his way to his table, leaving us giggling about her comment.

  ‘That was quite a turndown.’ I said, impressed by how effective she handled the situation. This wasn’t her first time turning down obnoxious guys. I could tell.

  Even though she wasn’t interested in the guy, the whole ordeal had left me a bit flabbergasted. That, and my inherent clumsiness made me tilt over my glass. The whole content just poured over her. Terrific. How more cliché can you go. And I didn’t even do it on purpose.

  ‘I’m so sorry! Let’s get you cleaned up before it stains.’ I panicked, quickly dabbing up the liquid on the table. She nodded and we walked to the ladies room, getting a good look from the guys in the corner.

  ‘Here, let me help.’ I said while giving her a lot of tissues and wiping off some excess beer.

  She took my hand and stopped my cleaning motion. ‘It’s fine.’

  When I stopped obsessing over cleaning her up, I noticed how close her body was. I felt her hand sneak around my waist and she pushed me gently against the wall. The only sounds audible were the clacking of my heels and the short breaths leaving our mouths. Her hand trailed up to my neck and I felt her fingers tangling in my hair. She pushed her body against mine and I felt my hormones raging through me.

  Slowly she brought her head closer and she smiled a little. Our eyes met. My hands gripped her waist. I felt my heart beat in my throat. After a lifetime of waiting, I finally felt her lips on mine. Soft, warm, moist. I let out the breath I didn’t even know I held. She pulled back, silently, both savouring the kiss. She took a couple of steps back, leaving me feeling lost, before changing her mind and crashing her lips again on mine.

  The evening just got a whole lot better.

  6. Effect

  Cara Hemlock

  Why did I kiss her? I don’t know, got caught up in the moment, I guess. I mean, we were standing in an empty bathroom, she was practically feeling me up and it seemed like the appropriate thing to do. In retrospect, it was probably the most inappropriate thing to do, but it just felt right.

  It was weird kissing her. Well, not the kissing itself, but the moments before. I wasn’t used to taking the lead.

  In a party situation, the guy would come up to me, blatantly put his hands on my ass and come closer. If I was drunk enough I would let him, otherwise, I’d pull away. Sometimes I would give him the green light, which would mean bringing my head closer to his and putting my hands on his shoulders. Then he would do the rest and kiss me. That wa
s as much initiative as I would take.

  My initiative was non-existent when I was sober. Not that I needed it, the guys I dated were mostly very straightforward. Pushing someone against a wall and kissing them? A completely different story.

  But this kiss. Wow. I don’t know how, but even given the circumstances it wasn’t a dirty one. Us standing in a bathroom, my blouse completely see-through from the beer and it still felt very natural. Her lips connected to mine, her hands on my waist, her leg in between thighs. It all felt so erotic without looking like a porn scene.

  Ruben and I had spoken about kissing a girl. Although I spent time in college, I never got the lesbian experience everyone talks about. I never really got the urge so, I didn’t. But now I had to. Ruben got pretty excited about it too, saying he would love to see me kiss a girl.

  —

  ‘Hey, can you maybe strategically place a camera somewhere so I can, later on, watch it when I’m in bed?’ Ruben nonchalant asked, reading a magazine, pretending like he asked for the salt.

  I threw my paper clip at him. ‘Disgusting. Not a chance in hell. Anyway, why would you even wanna see that? It will probably look boring.’ I said, thinking about it.

  I had often kissed guys who weren’t even bad kissers, but I wouldn’t get aroused or anything. No passion, no sparks, no magic. The guys on the other hand, well, let’s say that they were thinking with a different body part than their hands. Or their mind, for that matter.

  ‘I mean, I’m not attracted to women, so it’s like shaking hands. Or giving a high five. Some physical contact, but nothing that would make me wanna unzip my dress.’ I went on, mindlessly making paperclip slingers.

  Ruben threw my paperclip back. ‘You don’t think it will affect you in any way?’

  ‘I’m sure it won’t affect me.’ I stated, feeling very confident about it.

  —

  Nothing was less true. The kiss had awoken something deep inside me. Everything disappeared but her. Her lips brought me to another dimension that only existed out of Lexi. After that kiss, I was willing to unzip both our dresses, throw her on my bed and have my way with her. Have my way with everything that was Lexi.

  Did I get affected by her? Absolutely.

  Did we end up in my bed? Absolutely not.

  7. Cold

  Lexi Zellichman

  ‘What do you say we leave and have, let’s say, a drink at my place?’ Cara proposed, after pulling out of the kiss and leaving me a little breathless. I cleared my throat and shook my head.

  ‘No thank you, I’d rather not. I’m not a one night girl.’ I said, speaking my mind. She was extremely hot, but I don’t like putting out on the first date. It made me feel cheap and easy. Was I afraid I’d ruin my chance with her?

  Of course, but if she was looking for a one-nightstand we weren’t on the same page anyway. So it would only mean I lost someone with no potential for something bigger. I was in a stage of my life where I wasn’t deliberately looking for a fling. Life was short. I’d rather find someone to spend the next 80 years with.

  ‘Okay. So we go back and have more drinks here. But first…’ she said, pressing her lips again on mine. Softly exploring the inside of my mouth, leaving my whole body tingling.

  The night flew by, she kept on joking, turning guys down and all by all it went very well. I definitely wanted to see her again. When it was getting late and time to go, I was silently begging inside that she felt the same. It hd been a while since I met someone who made me laugh like this and made me feel so content.

  ‘Where is your car parked?’ she asked, stepping outside, hugging herself when the cold air hit her. I pointed at my car, but since it was so dark it seemed like I pointed at nothing.

  ‘I’ll walk you to your car.’ she said, taking my hand and intertwining our fingers. I gladly let her. We walked silently to my car, breathing out clouds of cold air.

  ‘That’s me.’ I said, wishing I parked my car farther away. When I unlocked my car, ready to get in, she softly pressed me against my car.

  The cold metal gave me shivers, but it was her warm body that gave me goosebumps.

  She gave me a short kiss. ‘Am I seeing you again?’

  I nodded, trying to keep myself calm, but inside I was jumping happily. ‘Sure, give me a call and we’ll set another date.’

  She smiled and gave me another kiss. ‘I sure will. Talk to you tomorrow.’

  8. Coffee

  Cara Hemlock.

  Hello.

  No, too boring.

  Hi.

  Yeah, let’s try grammar from a teenager.

  Good morning.

  Good morning was nice.

  Good morning. Wanna go get some coffee?’

  Great, that was really original. Maybe she loved ordinary women. Fantastic.

  Good morning. Wanna meet up so you I can introduce my friend? His name is coffee addiction.

  That was another winner, let's immediately start about my addiction. No, that wasn’t gonna go down very well.

  Good morning. It’s a lovely day, wanna meet up and grab a coffee?

  Let’s talk about the weather because that was so interesting. Jesus, it shouldn’t be so hard to send a text message.

  — Good morning. Wanna meet up and perhaps grab a cup of coffee? —

  Sent. That would have to do, I mean, I wasn’t a teenager. Sending a text wasn’t that important. I was just asking if she wanted to have coffee. I was gonna have coffee, she probably was gonna have coffee. No harm in getting coffee together. Well, unless, what if she didn’t drink coffee. Maybe she didn’t like coffee. Maybe she even hated coffee. Why did I ask for coffee? I should have asked for a drink, or a walk, or breakfast. Maybe someone close to her was a terrible coffee addict and she chose to never drink coffee again. Oh shit. What now?

  My thoughts were interrupted by two short beeps.

  — Sure. Meet me at 9 at Diana’s House. —

  Fieuw, she drank coffee. I let out a big breath and felt the stress in my stomach disappear. 9 o’clock. I looked at my microwave. 8:37. Shit, I hadn’t showered or anything. I ran to my bathroom, stripping in the process, trying to gain some valuable seconds.

  I arrived at Diana’s House. The clock read 8:56 am. Made it. Good, I didn’t wanna screw this up. I mean, it was a very important mission. My boss wouldn’t have sent the best if it wasn’t. Just a mission. That was why I was worrying so much. Not because I liked her, she was a woman and she was my target. Falling for her? Not an option. Not gonna happen.

  I chose a spot close to the window so she’d find me easily. And she did, she even gave me a little wave before entering. Damn, she looked good. That dress clung to every curve and I would love to wrap my arm around her waist.

  I mean, her dress looked very nice. It went well with her hair. There, better and more appropriate compliment.

  She took off her blazer, gave me a kiss on the cheek and asked what kind of coffee I wanted.

  ‘Just a regular black coffee, please.’ I said, feeling boring. Who drank their coffee just black? Lately, everybody seemed to be into that fancy, soy latte, skimmed milk stuff.

  She smiled. ‘Okay, be right back.’

  And she was, within the minute, she was walking back to our table and she sat herself down on the opposite side of me. There went my chance of pulling her close to me. Oh well, there were gonna be enough opportunities like that. I hoped.

  She blew softly on her coffee, cooling it down before she took a couple of tiny sips. I relaxed a little when I saw that her coffee was also a regular black one. At least she wouldn’t think it was boring. I smiled. Relax. Ruben didn’t even get her phone number. She already agreed to meet up with me twice. This was going well.

  9. Strategy

  Cara Hemlock.

  Likes sarcasm. Cats. Despises the colour indigo. Note: buy her flowers, preferably tiger lilies. Not roses.

  I looked at the short notes I made. When I came home last night, I decided to keep a notebook with
some handy information about her, things she said, things she liked. That way I could remember it well, discuss it with Ruben and it would be a great start for my professional report later on.

  Normally I made those after a week because I would already be done and everything would be fresh in my memory. I got a feeling that this time would be different, that it would take me a whole lot more than a week to get her to open up.